Wednesday, April 4, 2018

April 4, 2018 Self-criticism and self-doubt, let them go.

What is success? Is it something we really want? Do we need it?
It seems that there are many articles out there written about how to achieve it. How we can be more productive in our lives, such as these headlines from Medium:

Want to Live a Life 99% of Other People Will Envy? Read This Immediately (click here for this article)
7 Small Things You Can Do In 10 Minutes That Will Improve Your Health Substantially (tips for healthy living here)

I’m not against finding things that will help make our lives better, or different from what they are. I encourage people to explore their inner self, to understand that they can be in charge of their own happiness and well-being. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by pressure I put on myself to study and to continue learning so I can pass on more information to my students. I feel that I always have to present something new, forgetting that something I already know might be new to my students, or I have new students and it’s new to them anyway. 

I wrote that a week ago, just trying to get some thoughts on the page. As I reread it today, I find it is still relevant to my current state of mind. I had the opportunity this morning to have a session with a ‘life coach’ or something like that. She recently obtained certification and part of her curriculum is to give 50 hours of coaching. I felt it was something I could use and I’m always eager to help someone achieve their goals. 

It was one of those conversations where the person asks you how you want to spend the time together. Really putting the ownership on to yourself of what you expect to get from the meeting. Then, as I start talking about how to put less pressure on myself, how to eliminate self-doubt and to know that I am competent, capable and complete, she would ask what do I do that nourishes me in these areas. Do I not already have resources that I have learned to know how to boost myself? Do I know how to self soothe? Do I take time to rest so I can feel energized? And the answer to all of those questions is yes, yes, yes. 

The self-criticism and self-doubt will always be present, and the only solution is to just act in spite of them. 

How true. That is exactly what I was talking about with my life coach.
This statement came from another article on Medium, by Thomas Oppong, titled, “You’ll Seriously Regret These Life Choices and What to do About Them.” (live without regret) Yet another well written article to help a person make positive changes in their life and to live authentically. I did take time to read again this article because that statement was highlighted, it’s exactly what I’m feeling, as are apparently a whole lot of other people. 

So when I have times of stress or performance anxiety, or are just feeling overwhelmed by all of what life throws at me, I know what to do. Sometimes it’s okay to just sit there, and not do anything, instead of “Don’t just stand there, do something!” Do nothing and see what happens. If you are interested in where that saying came from, click here 
And know that I am competent, capable and complete. 

By the way, did you know that April is National Poetry Month? I thought poetry was something I had to ‘get’, my 7th grade English teacher presented poetry as something to be dissected in order to be understood. But as I have been writing, I realize you can just read poetry and let it be what it is for you as you read it. It can rhyme, it cannot rhyme. It can tell a story, evoke feelings, describe nature, or any number of things. At any rate, it can be enjoyable. I hope you will enjoy the poem I have included here, along with some new cactus photos.


Tonight it’s quiet or in the quiet
Or, at least, the quiet
Is all around us. What is it
I’m worried about when I
Worry about anything? What is it
I tangle up in, wanting to go home?
From down here I look up at myself
In the little bright square of window
Staring down at me in bemusement
Querying what’s it worth. But that’s
A question snaps shut on itself
Thoughts with teeth or claws
To scrape away to the very core. What
Cares contains its value, a half life,
Mixed, no doubt, yet fair.
It’s always fair or anyway
It’s always what’s there...
And it’s not our fault.

By Norman Fischer

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