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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

May 17, 2017 Self doubt creeping in


We, Jay and I,  finished our general orientation last Friday afternoon with a visit to the Crazy Horse Monument and Mount Rushmore. I can’t tell you how many times this week I have asked myself, ‘what the hell am I doing?’ Everything I have been learning this week is very interesting, about the park, how the wildlife is managed, how the forest and grasslands are managed, the role of the concessionaire in the park. But I wonder what is my role here? Will I be good at my job? Is this really what I want to be doing? Why is this all taking so long? I remember to be patient and to be present with each new experience

We have done the following in 4 days:

every morning 2-3 hours of talks about our duties in the park, then;
tour of Game Lodge including lunch,
visit the Peter Norbeck Education Center, formerly the Visitor’s Center,
Tatanka Barn,
our home in Volunteer Village
Volunteer Village and Sun City(lodging for work-campers and volunteers),
Grace Coolidge CG (campground),
Maintenance shops, including fire extinguisher demo,
Badger Hole,
Legion Lake CG,
Mt. Coolidge fire watch and lookout, 
Blue Bell Lodge and CG with lunch,
Buffalo corrals, 
French Creek Horse camp,
Stockade Lake and CG’s,
Sylvan Lake and lodge with lunch,
Needles Hwy drive,
Valhalla Lodge,
Black Hills Playhouse,
Center Lake CG,
Custer Chamber of Commerce,
Crazy Horse, with lunch,
Mount Rushmore, with ice cream,
Iron Mountain Road.

No wonder I’m tired.  

My formal training for my job is on Monday and start work on Tuesday. I know in my heart that it will all work out and I’ll enjoy my summer working for the park. 


some of our neighbors

Self doubt. It exists in all of us, even when we are doing what we think we want to be doing. I also am trying to remember that there will always be things that aren’t what I want to be happening. To take a pause and breathe deeply before moving ahead to act on what is presented to me.

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