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Monday, July 17, 2017

July 17, 2017 Not my circus, not my monkeys

Trying to write about solitude in a laundromat. People are coming and going, there’s Reggae music in the background, a backhoe digging up the alley behind the building, smokers at the backdoor and the cigarette smoke gently wafting into the building. The friendly attendant offers the chairs at the front entrance, a shady spot next to a lilac bush that has spent its blooms and a potted petunia. She does go tell the smokers to move away from the door. Here, at the front of the building there is a steady stream of cars, it’s the main road through town and the tourists are just getting started on this sunny morning.

The other day I went up to Sylvan Lake to hike the Sunday Gulch trail.

It was one of the trails on the Parks Trail Challenge. I got a late start and it was a warm day. I thought since it was a Monday, that it wouldn’t be too crowded there as it is the most popular area in the park. Boy, was I wrong about that. I got one of the last parking spaces in the overflow lot. I put on my hiking shoes, grabbed my pack and set off on the trek.

At the trailhead there were small groups of eager hikers, some with small children, and a few others who didn’t really look like they were up for a hike labeled ‘strenuous.’ I made my way past the congestion and headed downhill. I was disappointed to see handrails secured to the rocks along the trail, and a small set of concrete steps in one section. It was a rock scramble and I guess they wanted to make it more accessible. 

I stepped aside to let an older man pass by. He was walking with two hiking sticks and the younger members of his family had quickly come up the hill. He mentioned in passing that his two titanium knees slowed him down. I responded that he didn’t need to be quick, just steady, to finish. 

I also saw a lot of people on the trail without water, wearing inappropriate footwear(when did flip flops become hiking shoes?) or dragging small children on a very strenuous trail. I was able to find a few moments of peace as I walked down the creek. As I made my way around to the west side of the trail I was welcomed with the sound of roaring motorcycles above. The trail parallels the highway that goes north to Hill City for about a half a mile. Sad face. Even though the trail was 100 feet below the road, the sound echoes off the rock formations, and then I got the sound of someone honking their horn as they passed through Hood tunnel. More sad face.

I sat and watched some rock climbers making their way up one of the granite spires near the lake. I am happy for people who feel the need for that challenge, I plan to keep my feet on terra firma in a horizontal position.

just around the corner...
I had some energy left over after that jaunt so I thought I would make my way to Poet’s Table. It’s a little known location off of the main Little Devil’s Tower trail. Well, not really little known, it’s just off of an unmarked trail. There are no signs pointing, ‘this way to Poet’s Table.’ I thought surely, it would be peace and quiet in a remote spot in the park. I had read about it, how it was set up back in the late ’60’s, tranquil with a beautiful view of the Needle's Eye and surrounding rock formations. 

Not all who wander are lost
I had some trouble finding it, there are several game trails that lead up to it. I passed by a small pool of water fed by a trickle over a high rock. Just before this was a narrow slot between two spires. I thought that couldn’t be the trail, so I went to the left. That direction didn’t make sense, according to what I had read about getting to the table, so I back tracked down to the pool and went in to the narrow slot. There was a very rustic ladder leaning up under some precarious looking rocks, so it was one of the pathways. I climbed up the ladder only to be stymied again. A large, smooth boulder was to my right and a very rough, narrow steep passage was to my left. I thought, this is as far as I go. I can’t go up to the left, because I don’t think I have the energy to come down that steep section. But then I turned to study the boulder to my right. The pathway emerged, it was still a scramble over the boulder, but it was definitely the way. It led up to a dirt track, but still no sign of the table. Again my trail split. This time I chose to stay to the right, I’ll go another 100 yards and if it’s not there, I’ll give up. That was the right way to go, I passed around a small pine and there, nestled under an eave of granite surrounded by rocks was the Poet’s Table.
Poet's table
Four rough benches and a small wooden cabinet, all painted green, were there. The were three other hikers there too, but they were just heading down the hill, a different path than I had taken, so I had the place to myself.

The temperature was very cool in the shade of the rock, the morning sun not having had enough heat to warm the rocks to last the day and there was a breeze. I poked around in the old journals in the cabinet and one of them I flipped open and written there on the page was the phrase, “not my circus, not my monkeys.” I had never heard that phrase until I started working here in May. 
written here in 1997

My first co-worker heard it here from another gate attendant. Neither of them were around here in 1997 when this was written down in this particular journal. Of course I had to look up the etymology of the phrase (good ol’ innernet again). It’s an old Polish phrase and generally means, not my problem.

We were told, when we started working here, to just pay attention to our own job and our own role here. Don’t concern yourself with what others are doing, their shifts, where they are working and how they are doing it. The neighbors use that phrase too, typically when we are discussing the lack of consistency and the shoddy way things are managed behind the scenes here. I started to think that whoever wrote that back in 1997 was maybe a dissatisfied park worker. Or maybe it was someone on vacation, who was venting their lousy job back home, or perhaps  a reminder for anyone who might turn to that page to think before reacting in a situation they feel the need to be involved in. Say to yourself, 

  • What is happening here?
  • Does it involve me?
  • Can I do anything to help this situation?
  • Do I need to do anything?

By asking ourselves these questions before getting involved we may be able to reduce some of the stress in our lives. As I made my inquiry, a few other articles popped up with this phrase in them. One written by a life coach and another by a psychologist working with depression sufferers. article from Psychology Today So it’s been around for a long time, and used as a simple way to remind people to think before reacting. 

so true!
I spent another 10 minutes or so exploring the small space, the tokens left behind, the scribblings in chalk on the rocks.

As I was appreciating the view of the Needle’s Eye, I heard loud music echoing across the canyon. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I could see in the distance the cars traveling the road, lined up to wait their turn to go through the tunnel. I did not expect to hear the loud music over the roar of the motorcycles, but if you are riding a very loud motorcycle, you have to have your music even louder so you can hear. Let others be damned if they don’t like your choice of music or the volume you choose to play it.  Additionally, a helicopter flew over to add to the cacophony of motorized sound.
Needle's Eye tunnel

rock climbers
I came to the conclusion that it’s time to move away from the advertised trails. As nice as they are, if I am to get the connection with nature that I am seeking, I need to find a different path. There’s no reason not too. There are so many places in this park, it is 71,000 acres, where I can walk that are closed off to the general public. Part of the management of the area has been to close old logging and service roads, not even allowing the jeep tours to use them. But if you know where they are, you can walk on them, or ride your bike. 

Everyone has their own way of taking part in nature and getting away from the city. I don’t want to discount anyone’s choices. It’s hard to blend all the activities into these popular areas and by having these roads and well marked trails it allows for people who might not get out, to have a nature experience. I am glad that I am physically able to get away from the crowds and seek out a bit of solitude, even for a short time.

And it seems as though all of those distractions at the laundromat were a way to keep me focused. I feel as though my thoughts came together and made their way to the page with ease. 

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

July 10, time and moving

Time is a valuable coin, be careful how you spend it.

banjo, books, kindle, knitting
Seems like I just can’t seem to make time for my leisure pursuits. Here they sit, in my corner.  My knitting, my book, the kindle and my banjo. My kumihimo project hasn’t even seen the light of day since we got here. Then there is my writing. That takes a bunch of time, even when I am focused. 

next project

I’m working 40 hours a week, which I knew I would be doing. Just seems like when I was working for the city, I got a lot of stuff done, even during the week. I also have a much longer commute, about 30 minutes each way. At least one day off each week is devoted to doing laundry, errands and grocery shopping. We  try to lump all that together because it’s a long drive to town, either Custer or Rapid City. Then we try to do something fun or explore on our other day off.

We did drive up Spearfish Canyon last week. We headed up north bypassing the Needles Highway. We did stop in Lead for lunch. Pretty quiet for a Monday before a holiday. That was a very pretty drive, there was even a small waterfall and we had a nice walk along the creek to get there. 

And it all seems to go back to the whole train of thought about productivity and time management. It would certainly be easier for me if I wasn’t interested in so many things. I really have prioritized what is truly important to me. 

  • Spending time with Jay,
  • Being present with other people,
  • Yoga,
  • Meditation,
  • Spending time outdoors,
  • Then all the other things I listed off above.

It’s all part of self-inquiry and self-awareness. I do spend time with that too, because that helps me to not be disappointed with myself when I don’t do some of the other things I want to do. I am able to remind myself that I am making these choices about how I want to spend my time. I even tell myself that when I head out on a hike. I say, “remember, the longer you spend out on the trail, the less time you will have to study, or knit or whatever it is I think I want to be doing.” And yet, there I go, one foot in front of the other, hiking along the trail. 

Another time consuming thing this week was moving day. They finally got our new campsite ready enough for us to move in to. 

We went from this:

To this:

moving out
It’s still a little rough and we’ll have to go to town for laundry now, but better than being next to the trash juicer. We spent one day getting things picked up, (a lot of fire wood, you know), and moved in.

moving in
Then the next day Jay wanted to get the area smoothed out a little better, because who knows how long it will take them to get back down here to finish it. It’s frustrating, not only to us, but to the other campers here too. We have construction background, as does our Iowa neighbor, but even those who don’t have that background understand that water doesn’t flow uphill and neither will our sewer hoses. The sites are lower than the surrounding ground and the sewer stubs are all high. And grass seed won’t grow in mud. It really is better than where we were.

All part of the adventure
the cats checking out the new location

neat and tidy woodpile

Jay hard at work as usual. Can't get a shovel away from him.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

July 6, 2017 yoga thoughts

I have managed to find a couple of yoga studios in Rapid City. I felt the need to practice with others. It’s always nice to have the energy of the group. The first one I went to was an Anusara class, which I like. It was an hour long class, I would have preferred an hour and a half, since it’s about a 45 minute drive to get to Rapid City. I make an effort to combine errands when I go to town because it is a long drive. 

When I go to a new class with a teacher I have not practiced with I try to leave all expectations at the door. To keep an open mind, a beginner’s mind for this new experience. It’s not always easy to leave our judgements out of our experiences. That concept is something I work with anytime I practice, there are always poses that are favorites and ones that I don’t like so much. I have favorite teachers and others that I don’t care to practice with.

Part of an Anusara class is the invocation chant at the beginning of class. I like to chant, I don’t always do it in classes I lead, but it is nice to do with others. Especially if it is a typical part of the style of yoga being taught. So there we were, about 20 students, all settled in to our comfortable seated position at the beginning of class. He tells us the focus of the class is going to be standing and balancing poses and then zips through the invocation chant, by himself! There was no option to join in or not, he just said it and then asked us all to come up to standing. 

I must have just not been in an open state of mind. Try as I might I had trouble following his instructions. It seemed as though there wasn’t much focus on the alignment in the pose and even if I wanted to make adjustments, there wasn’t much time in the pose to make any changes. With that many people in the class, I thought he wouldn’t pay much attention to me, a new student, visiting from out of town, but every time I did something slightly different he would call out a correction. I do the same thing when I see several people doing something different from my directions, but other times I’ll just let them do what they feel like doing. After all, it is their yoga practice. And I know he wasn’t likely just calling me out for not following his directions, it’s highly possible there were others who were not following instructions too.

For my next yoga experience, I thought I would seek out a different studio with another new teacher. This studio is downtown, which makes it about 10 minutes closer to home, that’s one benefit. The class I took there was called: Real Evolution Yoga (REY): REY is a unique yoga methodology that builds power through flexility and strength. Well why not try that? I have never heard of this style of yoga. 

The teacher is soft spoken and friendly. Very welcoming to the studio space. The class size was small, just 5 of us. There was no chanting here, that’s okay, sometimes I don’t lead chants not even, Om. It depends on the class setting and the students. We began in a supported reclining bound angle pose, supta badha konasana. A very wonderful and relaxing pose to be in any time. We gradually moved through the sequence, stopping in the middle of practice for 5 minutes of meditation. I thought that sort of odd, but here again, I was trying to keep an open mind for the class, I might learn something new. She did have a new way to try triangle pose, trikonasana, that we explored together. She asked what I thought about it during the class, a nice gesture. Something that made me feel included, a part of the community there instead of someone who is just passing through. 

After class I asked her if she had a few extra minutes to keep the studio open, I would like to practice a few inversions and hanumanasa with a little more space. She allowed me that extra time to just be in that space, nice wood floors, big windows with lots of natural light streaming in and the sense of being in an open community. 

I think that’s part of what is hard for me in living this way. It’s being away from my community of yogis and Buddhists and meditators. I know there are other people out there who maybe feel the same way and I can always create that community, I can be the lead. But there is the sense of transience, knowing this isn’t going to last. How to commit, how to know if others are willing to commit. Even at the second yoga studio, I mentioned to the teacher that I missed teaching and she suggested I be a guest teacher there, at that studio. How do I commit to that with the schedule I have? Is it just my fear of success holding me back? Maybe I can find some answers to those questions with another walk in the woods. 

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

July 4, 2017 Wildlife in Custer State Park

I get to spend a lot of time working alone when I am at Blue Bell Gate. Most days, my coworkers are of the wild variety, and I don’t mean party animals. Half the time I don’t have my camera with me, and sometimes, even when I do, they don’t sit still long enough for me to get my camera out. (those mountain bluebirds, I’ll get a photo soon). 


There are pronghorns that roam in the meadows all around. I heard about the fawns, but didn’t see them the first couple of weeks they were out. I happened to have my camera the other day when these two were walking by mom and baby. Of course, two days later when the other mom and the twins came by, I didn’t have it.

There are also some of the very large, older bulls that hang around sometimes. Usually they are just up the road hanging out in the shade near a creek. Just like this guy on my way home one day.

Then there are days when a large portion of the herd come to visit like they did the other day. That’s what people come to Custer State Park to see and we try our best to keep tabs on the herds throughout the day so we can send visitors in the right direction to get a good view of them. It’s nice at Blue Bell, there is plenty of room for cars to pull off to the side of the road and  a large parking area near the vault toilets. I just sit back and watch the circus. If people start walking out toward the herd, I’ll call and let law enforcement know so they can try to get the people back in their cars.

rut season is coming in August!

they like to rub

I'm not having my lunch outside today

Law enforcement likes to be notified anyway because they can help with traffic control and get people moving off the road. The cars will just stop in the middle of the road and there isn’t anyway to get around them. That’s what we call a real buffalo jam and they can last up to an hour. Darn tourists.

I finally did get a picture of that Mountain Bluebird.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

June 27, 2017 Brownie's adventure

The other day, Brownie caught my attention. She has been cooped up in the corner of the bedroom with my Buddha. She wanted to go for an outing, so I made sure to pack her with me on my way to work. 

She spent the day on the dash of the truck waving to tourists as they drove by. That’s a lot of hard work. On the way home, we stopped in at the Coolidge General Store. I had a surprise there for her, stuffed buffalos! She was super excited about that. She had seen the real ones passing by the trailer on several occasions and thought it would be fun to ride one. She was happy to ride the stuffed one in the store and to take a rest with the baby buffalo too.

The next day was my day off and I planned to hike the Lover’s Leap trail. It’s part of the trail challenge in the park, hike 8 specified trails in the park by July 16, collect a stamp on a card for each one and turn it in at the Visitor’s Center and  receive a special gift. I like this trail. It meanders along a creek with plank bridges before going up through the ponderosa pine forest to a rocky outcrop with a wonderful view. So Brownie and I packed up and headed out for our walk in the woods. 

sitting on a rock in the creek
We took a break near the creek, some time for meditation until the flies started to bug us (pun intended, they are relentless). It was nice to sit and listen to the water burbling along over rocks and logs.

walking across the plank bridge

Then we made our way up the hill to the viewpoint and rested there for a while, enjoying the view and watching clouds drift by.

bears do like to climb trees

not too close to the edge, Brownie

yippee! another trail completed!

Last stop was at the box to pick up the stamp on my card and we headed home. We didn't come across any buffalo today, but that’s okay. There will be more sightings and I would rather not run in to one on the trail. 

It was nice to have a little bit of company on my walk, even though she doesn’t talk back. It’s like having someone else with you who actually does see things differently than I do. It helps me to see what is out there, to take a pause and notice. We can be so used to going about our daily routine that we forget to notice what is around us. I just happen to be using a small 50 year old stuffed bear to help me once in a while.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

June 20, 2017 Cleaning up my Facebook timeline

One good thing about having some time on my hands is it gives me the opportunity to clean-up my Facebook account. I have a specious attraction to it, therefore I haven’t always been good about deleting old posts. Did you know that if you want to delete many old posts there is no way to select more than one at a time? I checked the help menu and the answer is, “that feature is not available at this time. With over a billion users, your feedback is important to us. Click on the link to leave your comments.” I think if people are asking for it on the user forum, it’s high time to get that feature on the menu. It seems like people, like me, are wanting to keep things relevant and we haven’t always been good about deleting things right away. Now there is the daunting, time consuming task of going through all you old posts, one at a time and deleting them. You can’t even jump back to a specific year, you have to scroll through everything in chronological order. 

So, you go to your Timeline, select the more options arrow thingy on the right and select delete, then you’ll get this message:

Every time. So I have to click twice to delete. This would be a good project for someone who just had foot surgery, or a broken ankle and they aren’t very mobile and need a sit down project.

It is sort of fun though, and adds more time to the project to see the old stuff. The fun quizzes I did, that are based on what Facebook extrapolates from my post. Like where I would be living in 5 years. Two years ago the result of that quiz was Rome, Italy. I retook it and now it says I’ll be living in Hawaii. 

My four letter word: pure

I’m still a Pirate for my profession in a previous life.

And I am still borderline genius! (would have gotten 100% on that this time, but I pressed on the wrong answer button on one question).

Then there are the poems I posted on Poetry Mondays. I think we need to resurrect that at least once a month. I’ll start now even though it’s not Monday. This is one of my originals, called “Nature”

I sit creekside and wait for
the sounds of nature that
awaken the day.
The flow of water, unending,
a bird in the distance whose
voice is unfamiliar.
I feel the air warm as the sun rises
over the hollow.
I smell the greenness of the
forest, the dull smoke of wet campfires.
A heron glides by silently.
Children are now awake and send
ripples through the sounds of nature,
but are they
not part of nature?
The sounds of nature continue to unfold with the day.

So I might suggest, if you have a Facebook account and post regularly, to begin regularly going in and deleting a post after it has been up for a week or so. Then scroll back and delete a few more while you're at it. That's one way to begin getting rid of those old posts.

And now for your buffalo photo for the day, this big guy was having a rest just by the side of the road on my way home from work the other day.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

June 14, 2017 Life in 300 square feet(maybe less)

living room
You’ve heard the saying, ‘a place for everything, everything in it’s place,’ no more true than when you are living in a small space. It is crucial to our mental well-being to be sure we put things away when we are done with them. We make an effort to keep the dishes washed and put away, keep the kitchen counter clear, and clutter picked up off other horizontal surfaces. 

The dining table has a neat feature, half of it is on a hinge and lifts up to reveal a two inch space of storage. Great for our laptops, but that means in order to get them out, there can’t be anything on top of the table. I’m sure it will come in handy when we are mobile, but we found it doesn’t work so well on a daily basis because we use our computers everyday. 

Our beautiful wooden bowl we brought to use for fruit has become our inbox, storing pens, what little mail we get and random scraps of paper. 

The bedroom doesn’t allow for any clothes to be left laying around. We have an assortment of over-the-door hooks to try to get things up off the floor for those things we wear most days, like brown shorts and lime green shirts. Ruby has her spot on the bed, and I do have space for a small altar next to my side of the bed. Shoes reside under the edge of the bed stacked on top of each other.
whole house view
The general living quarters are pretty cozy and comfortable. The trailer didn’t come equipped with standard RV recliners which allowed us some extra space. We brought along a chair I had bought for the house, and of course, Ruby has taken over that too. The cats have their sleeping boxes and they do spend a lot of time there, when they aren’t sleeping on the bed or my chair. They like to sit on the back of the chair and the couch and I put a box on one of the dining chairs so Toby can see out the window there too. (who owns who?)

most of the bathroom
We all share the same bathroom, note the litter box in the bottom right corner. Works pretty well except the cats can't reach the switch for the fan, so I have to turn it on and off for them after they do their business. 

We have good internet service and the t.v. works. Not that we spend much time watching t.v., but it is nice to occasionally sit down and watch a show we enjoy.

The other thing nice about this space and what I would recommend for any RV owner is to have hard surface flooring. Carpet is hard to keep clean. There is so much stuff that gets tracked in, it’s nice to have a smooth surface to just sweep instead of trying to clean carpet. 
the oven storage

We have managed pretty well to become used to moving around each other taking turns in the kitchen when getting ready for the day and giving each other some space. It will sure be nice when we have more level ground so we can set up our outdoor room. We had counted on being able to do that, but the trailer is perched on the most level area, everything around us slopes up or down, and then there is the pervasive odor from the garbage compactor(which is now an open dumpster because the compactor is out of order.) Not very happy with that at all. We had better be moving in two weeks to our new location. We are also on mouse #6. I get that we are in a field, but no one else is complaining of having mice in their trailers, even the people without dogs.

All part of the adventure. And at least some of the neighbors are quiet.